Monday, 13 June 2011

Instant boyfriend - just add water and stir...

Clouds have lifted after a dark couple of days - and that's not to even touch on the state I was in after a week's celebrations! Bookended by summer ball and Parklife festival, emotions have been running wild and leaving on a high seems only right after an intense year. I thought I would start by tackling a fairly taboo subject in some respects - the preserve of singletons everywhere. That's right, the one night stand. In theory, it a means to an end. Problems arise, I find, not in the sobering morning light and the impending reality that you have degraded yourself by sharing an intimacy with a relative stranger, but when, for one party, there is a compulsion to ignore the labelling. It's ONE night, for a reason. You may have hit it off exponentially. Yes, it's enchanting to find another who speaks your language, yes they might tick all the boxes in physical respects, yes - they might even reciprocate your passion. But protocol and self-preservation must ensue. A midday welcome is not to be outstayed. Offer coffee or remedial measures by all means. A gentleman will escort you home, and might even appropriate you a pair of flip flops, but remember, no-one made you wear those skyscraper heels and body-con lurex minidress. If you are anything like me, on parting, I would highly recommend you delete his number. Attempting to re-enact the rendezvous with, say, someone who is due to depart the country in a week is dangerous territory. It is a well known fact that the in house translators of the texting world like to employ a little technique that makes the most carefree, "carpe diem"-esque message go from "let's live in the moment" to "i'll be watching you from the bushes." So It is to my dismay that I find I am still no more worldly-wise in the male domain, and my tendency towards impatience with the opposite sex shows no signs of abating. I long for the day my head and heart will make the connection that a relationship requires solid foundations, masonry and structure, rather than some insta pre-fab effort. Until then, let's keep my outgoings purely platonic!

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